Its always a struggle when I feel myself going crazy — a real whirlwind I mean. I got ideas floating around everywhere, literally bouncing off the walls in my head — I mean really knocking me out. The worst thing is that they just come from nowhere. I’m sitting here trying to concentrate on work, or play, or whatever, anything but some stupid crazy thought, and bam! Some depressing thought comes into my mind about how there’s too many poor people, or about some long lost love, and that’s it, just throws me out of my groove.
Some crazy thought just throws me out of my groove and then I’m just spinning around like a greased monkey with no direction — just a mess waiting to crash. I always try to avoid moments like this, because they really are a distraction, you know, when you feel like you should do something, when I’m already sitting here doing something. So what makes these thoughts feel so important that they gotta creep into my head and mess me up. I’m just trying to get some work done, and they say “No! You are wasting your time. You should be doing something else. Why aren’t you saving the planet? Why aren’t you saving the poor? Why don’t you spend more time with your family?”
Well, what’s the answer? Maybe there is some little pill that I can take to trick my brain into thinking everything is allright, but I heard those things do more harm than good. There’s always a few things I can do, like exercise, that can bring back the sanity for a little bit, but its only temporary. I guess its a battle I’ll have to fight for the rest of my life — me against those crazy ideas that come flying out of nowhere.